Proverbs 18:22 "He who finds a wife finds what is good and obtains favor from the Lord."
Genesis 2:18 "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
I think as Christians, including me, we have a tendency to look at selecting a mate as an overtly spiritual process. Sure God is involved...but I think sometimes we look for "confirmation" that simply isn't there.
Now let me explain, we've all heard the "God told me" line and the I just "knew the moment I saw her" scenarios. But there is a lot more at work here than just "God," it's our expectations and hopes.
So why do we believe in this myth? First, its reassuring, romantic and gives us a sense of fate and a feeling of being special. Second, our culture has taught us this is how we are supposed to react. The music we listen to and the images we watch tell us this is what love is and how we'll know when we've found it, but it's simply not true. The idea of knowing if someone is "the One" early in a relationship is a myth. Sounds great and we've all heard people who married someone who says they knew right away, but there are many more who also thought they knew and it didn't turn out so well for them.
Once we believe someone is "the One" we ignore contrary information because we don't want to know anything that doesn't support our belief. And this is dangerous ground because we ignore character flaws, bad habits and often quickly speed a relationship towards the altar because, "I've found the One, so why wait when you already know?" Doing so is really foolish.
We want to believe these feelings of bliss are God's approval that we have found "the One." But feelings alone are not a good judge of character, compatibility or God's best. In short, Don't trust feelings, but rely on family, friends and Godly people whose advice we can trust and of course prayerfully ask for wisdom.
Doesn't sound too romantic does it?
Genesis 2:18 "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
I think as Christians, including me, we have a tendency to look at selecting a mate as an overtly spiritual process. Sure God is involved...but I think sometimes we look for "confirmation" that simply isn't there.
Now let me explain, we've all heard the "God told me" line and the I just "knew the moment I saw her" scenarios. But there is a lot more at work here than just "God," it's our expectations and hopes.
So why do we believe in this myth? First, its reassuring, romantic and gives us a sense of fate and a feeling of being special. Second, our culture has taught us this is how we are supposed to react. The music we listen to and the images we watch tell us this is what love is and how we'll know when we've found it, but it's simply not true. The idea of knowing if someone is "the One" early in a relationship is a myth. Sounds great and we've all heard people who married someone who says they knew right away, but there are many more who also thought they knew and it didn't turn out so well for them.
Once we believe someone is "the One" we ignore contrary information because we don't want to know anything that doesn't support our belief. And this is dangerous ground because we ignore character flaws, bad habits and often quickly speed a relationship towards the altar because, "I've found the One, so why wait when you already know?" Doing so is really foolish.
We want to believe these feelings of bliss are God's approval that we have found "the One." But feelings alone are not a good judge of character, compatibility or God's best. In short, Don't trust feelings, but rely on family, friends and Godly people whose advice we can trust and of course prayerfully ask for wisdom.
Doesn't sound too romantic does it?
